Sometimes, I finish last. I'm okay with that. But it has been a LONG time since I've been in what I call the "Circle of Trust." Do you know the Circle? The last one who finishes the WOD is surrounded by everyone else who has finished and they cheer that person on till they are done. Here is the thing....it's been a while since I've been that person. You forget how it feels.
Just because you finish last does not mean that you will be encompassed by the Circle of Trust. But if it is a gruelling WOD and people see you putting up a good fight to finish, the Circle will form.
We see it on every level of competition. You probably saw it happen numerous times while watching the Games last weekend. Remember this?
It happens to newbies, too. Who doesn't like a good fight? You just can't help but root for someone and in CrossFit, you can be last and still feel like you earned the Championship belt.
I went to the LivXFit Coaches Summit, which was great, btw.We had a workout every day. The last day was a partner WOD. Here was my sad strategy. It's fucking hot. All the dashboard pictures on Facebook should have told you that but in case you didn't know.....it's hot.
My strategy was to pick a partner who would be sympathetic to my crapulence. I chose Mary. She is not only a bad ass coach and CrossFitter but a mother to a beautiful baby. I figured she was dialed into sensitivity and perhaps a little sleep deprived. When it is hot, you are a 40 year old woman in a room with younger peeps and you are pretty sure you are the slowest in the pack, you pick strategically. So, I chose her. Because we were doing a cash out of double unders. And, I SUCK at those. We had to collect 250 to end the WOD. I put on my game hat.
Mary was a great partner and didn't mind that we were finishing last. She could get in 20 double unders but made sure that I put in my 10 each time. My sad single double single double single double 10. But, I did it. Now, 40 isn't old. It does not even qualify you for the Masters. But, I went into that WOD feeling freaking old and hot and cranky. Then, as I was stomping through those double unders, the Circle formed. And I felt that surge. They knew I was truly trying my best. And everyone loves a good fight. So that group of coaches stayed with us till the end. Cheering, encouraging and supporting. I finished last but didn't feel like a loser. The Circle of Trust is so genuine and truly almost magical. It's a highly concentrated grief support group. It's immediate and genuine camaraderie and it is one of the things that makes our community great. We help each other through our struggles. We help carry the emotional burden of a soul crushing WOD. As a coach, I may finish last sometimes because my weight is heavier or my movements are more complex. But, this was an even playing field. And it had been a long time since I was that person at the end. That person who you notice is still fighting after you have had time to catch your breath. That athlete that you form the Circle of Trust around and encourage. I'm really glad we finished last that day. The Circle of Trust is one of the foundations of our Community. And as a coach, if we don't go back to foundations every once in a while, we just may drift off the path. It may seem like an awful experience, finishing last in a group of your peers. It sounds worse to KNOW that you WILL be finishing last before you even begin. But it was a gratifying experience.
I often feel misread as an athlete. And a lot of times it is because of my own negative self-talk. I need to remember that the only way I should feel bad after a workout is if I gave up the fight. I'll take one in the jaw but get up and fight back! I feel like the old electric piano at Ray's Music Exchange in the Blues Brothers. I look like hell sometimes, but when played correctly, there is still some action in this piano. I'm lucky to be a member of this great CrossFit community. When pushed and encouraged and cared for, we can do more than we thought we could. And, feel good about the results, no matter where we finish. Even if you sometimes feel like an old, electric piano from Ray's.
It is so hard to be a parent. You want your child to like you, but your job is to parent first. I have a huge issue with parents who are so concerned with being their child's pal that they forget we are trying to raise decent human beings. Then, when the shit comes down, and it will, the child thinks the parent is a Nazi for wanting them to finally work at their full potential. If you parent right first, then the friendship will follow later. Naturally. That is why it is creepy when a 40 year old wants to hang with the 15 year old crowd. It is not natural. And in many scenarios, flirting with the darker edges of our legal system. Leaders, like parents, command respect. If you drop the ball there, then you have to start demanding respect. And, you sound like a douche.
Coaching is like that. Am I calling my athletes kids? Never. Am I saying that I do not want to be friends with our clients? You know that is not true. We have lots of fun outside of the Box. But, you do have to command respect while you are there. What is frustrating for me is when I am thought of as a hard ass or a bitch for believing in you. Don't make me the mean mom because I know you have another rep in you before we call time. I'm not some unfeeling person because I want you to get on the bar. I do not expect perfection in form. I'm not perfect. Many of you have skills that far exceed my own. But, I watch you and scores of others every day. And, I know how talented you are and I know your capabilities. So, when you are tired and down on yourself, I want to be there to tell you to get on the bar. Not only because it is MY JOB, but because whether you believe it or not, you CAN get one more burpee. You can attempt one more clean. You're exhausted. I am standing there with my coffee and am not. My perspective of time might just be more right on than yours at that moment in time. And, if you get one more today, you may get two more reps next month. I love my athletes. When you drop the bar, I still love you. No more or no less.
It took me a long time to see that the people who coach me don't care about me on a sliding scale. I remember crying during the Air Force WOD and actually saying "Stop yelling at me!" Did it occur to me at the time that they were yelling for me? That they could see that me feeling sorry for myself was actually outweighing my physical exhaustion? Of course not. I was the child in this scenario. Everyone was just being unrealistic. Mean. Don't they know I can't do this? Don't they know that I'm just not as good as everyone else? Why do they hate me? I've disappointed them. I bet they go home and talk about what a fucking waste of time it is to coach me.
And I have had countless other moments like that one. Every coach has had them. And if they say they haven't, they are fucking lying. I don't care who you are. You HAVE had that moment where you just wanted to quit and have the world swallow you whole, med ball and all, than hear another person tell you to "Go."
People may not always like to be pushed. But then, why do we CrossFit at a Box? Because we don't have equipment? You could buy it with what you pay in dues. Because there is no one to program your WOD? There is free programming everywhere on the Internet. No. We come because we need a push. We like the people. We want the results. And deep inside, we know they believe in us. And care for us unconditionally. Just like a family.
Just a little perspective on what is going on in my mind when I coach you. I don't want you walking out with any regrets. We have had people leave. That's life and that is fine. Go back to the gym. I guarantee that they will have the same issues with their body and their motivation in six months, but then they will have to find someone else to blame. And, I guaran-effing-tee it won't be themselves. Any program will be a success if you are willing to admit and face your weaknesses. The only difference between me and them is I admit mine, which are plentiful. Any deficits that I have in my skills and nutrition are my own fault. And wherever I go in life, my weaknesses go with me. But, I don't hide them. I'm an open book. And, I'm stronger for it.
Don't want to be pushed? Ever? Just tell me that-I don't care. Less shit for me to do. I will not take it personally and will focus solely on your safety and form instead. You've had a shitty day and just want to get your blood moving? Grand. I truly like you the same as I did the day before when you hit it hard, which is probably an awful lot. I don't judge. I have been there. But what I won't do is carry around the blame for your failures. You get in what you put in.
Just like a parent, I want to see you reach your full potential. Whether you like me or not today, I will keep believing in you. Because I am blessed by having you in my life and I truly love coaching. And that, my friends, is why I am probably the happiest, hard ass bitch you know.
“Victory is reserved for those who are willing to pay its price.”
- Sun Tzu
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
Definitions of Grace:
* Seemingly effortless beauty or charm of movement, form, or proportion.
* A characteristic or quality pleasing for its charm or refinement.
* A sense of fitness or propriety.
* A disposition to be generous or helpful; goodwill.
* Mercy; clemency.
* A favor rendered by one who need not do so; indulgence.
* A temporary immunity or exemption; a reprieve.
* Divine love and protection bestowed freely on people.
* The state of being protected or sanctified by the favor of God.
* An excellence or power granted by God.
* A short prayer of blessing or thanksgiving said before or after a meal.
* A CrossFit workout consisting of 30 clean and jerks for time.
Normally, I don't struggle to write my blog. I just turn off my filter and spew my thoughts on random subjects. But this one is different. I'm not often humbled, although I should be. And often. Everyone should.
We ramble on through our lives. We get frustrated by the most foolish things. The video I want to watch is taking over 7 seconds to load on YouTube. I ripped my hands doing pull-ups. I'm sore from my squats. I burnt my bacon. The driver in front of me is going too slow. Did I mention I burnt my bacon? I'm guilty of all these things. Including the merciless slaying of salted pork strips. I've let these things ruin segments of my day. I have complained about these subjects. I have, in my mind, regaled others with the tales of my woe. Woe is freaking me. I am a fool. You probably are too.
So foolish are we to complain about burning our bacon, when we have bacon to burn. Gas for our cars. Money for entertaining ourselves on the interweb. :) The physical ability to do pull-ups. Squats. To get out of bed. To have someone to regal with our stupid tales and friends good enough to feign interest in them. These are gifts. I often forget that.
Why so introspective, Nicole? I like your filthy-mouthed little blog. Well, thank you. I do too! But, I probably will not get the chance to share with you such an experience again. So, anything less than the utmost respect for the subject would be...well...disrespectful to the experience.
10 year old Tanner Lager is suffering from Ewing Sarcoma cancer. His condition is terminal. Tanner is currently being cared for by his 23 year old sister, Savanna. Their parents are not in the picture. They battle this alone. Tanner and Savanna travel to St. Louis weekly for experimental treatments that could prolong his life for a few years. But, without these treatments, Tanner has only a few short months. Tanner is a fighter, despite his condition. These experimental treatments and the weekly 7 hour round trip drive to St. Louis are financially devastating for Savanna and her little brother Tanner. It is a situation that few of us could fathom. We are blessed to be able to do what we do. It makes not being able to PR a lift seem foolish, now doesn't it? Now, do you see what I mean? This smiling guy is Tanner:
So often, we take part in participating in Hero WODs. We do these to honor the sacrifices of the fallen. Human beings who have acted heroically and sacrificed their lives, so that others may live. But when do we really have the opportunity to celebrate heroism and sacrifice while that person is still fighting the battle? To help lesson the weight on that warrior's shoulders. To lighten the load for the family left behind. Can you imagine it? The chance to help the Hero. Does the thought leave you breathless? Humbled? Truly, it was an emotion that we couldn't put into words. But, we had an idea, skills and talents. We have the gift of good health. And we saw an opportunity. Hemingway said that "Courage is grace under pressure". So, at CrossFit SoMO, we took the chance to embrace this opportunity and celebrate the heroism of a young man who is currently fighting a battle with the tenacity of a warrior. And, to help his sister, who is sacrificing her young life to do what is only right. This opportunity was called 'Grace' for Tanner.
And so, the news spread. CrossFit SoMO was doing a benefit for a little boy with terminal brain cancer. "I want to help." "I need to help." "What can we do?" It was extraordinary. We are not a large Box. We are located in a small town. But, we are part of a large community via Facebook. Affiliates who knew about the event sent athletes. People who could not attend did Grace at their Box and collected money from their athletes. Everyone wanted to help lift this boy and his sister up. To give them grace. Athletes from CrossFit Natural State, Crossfit Strength and Honor and CrossFit Springfield joined us at CrossFit SoMO for the event. People who couldn't do barbell work, used a PVC pipe. People who came to watch gave donations. The entry fee was whatever you wanted to give. $5,340.00 was raised in 2 hours.
I only know one person in that picture who has ever met Tanner. One. And, it isn't me.
CrossFit Springfield, CrossFit West Plains, CrossFit 417 and Dropping Plates CrossFit did Grace, took donations at their Box and sent the donations to us. This added $1,360.00. Well over $6,000.00 was raised that day. More donations came later. Plus video submissions of Grace for Tanner at other Boxes. And prayers. I am always proud to be part of this community. But on that day, I was humbled to stand beside those athletes. For all of our differences as human beings, when people come together for such a worthy cause it intrinsically binds you as one. It is like no other community I have ever known. And when you take something as magical as a large group of people from all walks of life that want success for others as much as they want it for themselves and THEN direct that power towards a child in need....well, pardon my long, rambling sentence, but there aren't many other things as powerful as that. These talents we possess, our strength, our workload capacity, our health-it is a gift. We cannot thank everyone enough for sharing that gift with us during Grace for Tanner.
If you ask a CrossFitter to define Grace, some would say it is 30 clean and jerks for time. Or, 30 ground to shoulder to overhead. And, I guess that would have been our answer before this event. I feel confident that if you asked any one of us to define Grace now, you may get a different answer.
As we approach the Open, take time to appreciate your gifts. When you walk into the Box today, remind yourself that no matter what your time is, no matter the weight on the bar, you are one of the fortunate, for you have been given Grace.
"I don't need CrossFit. I just need to deadlift and snatch, but not CrossFit. Oh, and wallballs, but with my ball, not a Reebok ball. And no CrossFit. I will do double-unders and pull-ups, though. And thrusters. 21-15-9 thrusters and pull-ups, but not Fran. And that's all I need, too....."
CrossFit is not a right. It is a free website with free programming. While it is community driven, CrossFit is not a government. These are not elected officials. They are smart, talented and driven people who do one hell of a job. It is one of the fastest growing fitness businesses. You can't vote the people who run CrossFit off the island. You could sit in paleo chair and occupy a Box for change, but the real CrossFitters would just get annoyed. Or, they would make you a functional part of our community and jump over you repeatedly Junkyard dog style. Either way, who would bring you your grass fed paleo jerky?
So, what is with all the haters STILL complaining about Reebok? Look, I'd be pissed too if the company fell to shit, but it has flourished. For people who are interested in numbers, stats and pr's, this fact seems to be disregarded.
That being said...
If you don't like CrossFitting, don't do it. BUT, please don't do it and constantly bitch about it. It makes you sound like a hypocrite. Reebok is doing an amazing job promoting CrossFit. Your bitching about it does the opposite. I figured that out and I'm not a business communications major. Plus, my Fran time sucks. Oh, and without an economics major, I have managed to deduce that better quality clothing costs a little bit more. Funny complaints from people who probably own a stockpile of Lulu... If you are grassroots or pre-Reebok like me, you have an assload of old school CrossFit shirts-wear them. They are still awesome! CrossFitters have more tee-shirts than 5k running enthusiasts! But, back to Reebok. I wouldn't care if their symbol was a little steaming pile of poo, if I could wear it in the Games. Find me one TRUE story about an athlete qualifying for the Games and saying they won't compete because they have to wear a corporate logo uniform. One.
If you think the movements are bullshit or dangerous, do your own thing. You can call it SteveFit or whatever your name is. And, you can make $15 tee shirts that say 'Infidel' or 'Your workout is Steve's warm-up' or whatever you want. But, don't urinate in my community pool because you don't like that a little triangle is on some clothes. When you do, that makes you look like a 'little triangle'. If that play on words went over your head, little triangle is an euphemism for little pussy.
Oh, and see you later, Drywall. Whenever I think of little triangles, I will remember you.
Christmas is over and we are a day from 2012. It's been a busy month or 2, so I am finding myself multitasking. I have had many people talk to me about nutrition this week, or what seems to be their lack of good nutritional habits. Mine have also been pretty craptacular. I wanted to address your food confessions as well as write in my blog. I also wanted to answer an email. This is all three.
Dear Martha,
So, you asked about nutritional counseling and what angles or resources I use. This is a hot topic for all of us trainers but especially this week. Advertisers, family traditions, pushy-ass relatives and seemingly every entity in North America have spent the last 6 weeks telling us to shove food in our pie holes. Now, in what always feels like a effing conspiracy, every magazine, television show, pushy-ass relative and some of our favorite pants will tell us that we've gained weight and need to lose it. November and December punch us in the throat and January buys us flowers and swears it will never happen again. Truly, my ass fat has deja vu. This is why I wear Lululemon-it stretches. I also think that this is why people confess their food sins to me. I don't judge. I'd be a hypocrite if I did. And, I will try to help them find a solution. Or, at least see the light at the end of the footlong.
I wish that CrossFit still had a Nutritional Cert. Although, I'm not sure what I could be taught in a weekend that a lifetime of fucking up hasn't taught me. I have been on every conceivable diet plan and pill. I have gained and lost more weight than I can deadlift on my very best day. I can't find countries on a map but I CAN tell you the fat, calories, carbs and protein in most foods. Why I can retain this knowledge and can't find England on the globe (no shit) is beyond me.
When we have nutritional challenges, the combo of Paleo food in Zone portions reigns supreme. For performance, for blood work, for weight loss-this is the shit. But that shit seems to start to stink after 45 or so days for the average CrossFitter. They just can't stay with it. And, as you well know, the average CrossFitter is our bread and butter. Maybe I shouldn't have used 'bread and butter'. Well, you know what I mean. Their heads seem to go to that all or nothing mindset. "I ate cheese, so the rest of the day is shot." "They had cake at work, so I'll get back on it Monday." This is like getting a flat tire and saying "Well, that's that" and slashing the other three tires-wouldn't make a lot of sense, huh? BUT, we all do it on some level.
Your state of mind keeps you motivated and disciplined. It also demotivates you. This is usually what sets athletes apart in the Box. Whether it is your weight, your mobility, form, your progression in your skills or working towards improving your capacity to lift more. The state of mind is key. If I could help people get there and stay there permanently, I'd be a billionaire. Some people are just supremely focused. In the zone, if you will excuse the pun. Some have too much shit going on and it is a miracle that they even can make time to zip their pants, let alone WOD. A lot of Boxes are a 75%/15%/10%, in my opinion. 75% of the athletes could probably kick the average person's ass athletically and need quarterly food talks and the other 15% are the resident Firebreathers. They are dialed in and on a program but need help tweaking as they progress. And, maybe 3% of that 15% could have a real chance of placing in the upper tiers of the Open. They're fine and could teach a Whole 9 workshop. 10% are there occasionally because they cherry pick the WODs they want to do but keep up their memberships because "CrossFit is edgy and the popular thing to do right now." They ask everything question about food that you can imagine and implement nothing. That is my opinion. It won't make me popular. We can teach all the nutritional plans they offer, but it is still up to the athlete to focus their mind and STAY focused.
Here is what I have noticed these last few weeks. Everyone that has been eating big and crappy and still doing their WODs and training are gaining some muscle mass, a little back/belly fat and are sucking wind at metcons. I'd hate to time anyone's mile, mine included, right now. My sweat probably smells like pie and merlot. They are also kicking ass on strength days. Huh? I feel like my athletes need to be eating bigger AND clean. I like paleo and Zone a lot, but I can't argue with what all this dairy and eating big seems to be doing for my peeps. Some of the girls quads and the guys chests are exploding. Me likey. This is a link to a blog I reference a lot:
I feel obligated to teach Paleo and Zone. One, because it works and two, because that is what I learned at my Cert. Otherwise, I may as well be pulling information out of my ass. I have a framed piece of paper that says I know Zone, at least.
When I teach Zone, I have my athletes reference the good ole CrossFit Journal article in Issue 21 titled Zone Meal Plans. It is still the best reference guide to the Zone out there and I am tired of buying that fucking book, as no one returns it.
When I teach the Paleo diet, I usually copy pages 104-112 from The Paleo Diet by Loren Cordain. Another book I don't wish to keep buying, although it is great! I also like The Paleo Diet for Athletes. Oh, on the Cordain book, that's the food list pages. Then, I ask people to hit the Internet and research more, if needed. I LOVE this is paleo recipe site:
But, none of this means squat if you aren't sleeping at least 7-8 hours a night. Your brain will actually produce appetite stimulants, if you are not well rested. Then, all of the "eat when you're hungry" advice that I give is basically null and void because their body is chemically telling them that they are hungry, not physically. And, there is no way to tell the difference.
I also ask them what they can do to cut stress. Stress and lack of adequate sleep can effect cortisol and glucose levels and all that other stuff. Then, we are even more likely to be hungry....for crap. I've never asked an athlete to read The Cortisol Connection. I probably should, though. I keep that one on my Kindle. It just seems easier to say "Sleep, damnit. Get lots of it and let the laundry sit an extra day if it means you can go for a relaxing walk with your kids after dinner. Then, make the kids do the laundry. Chores are good."
Then, I try like hell to get them off the soda. When they ask why, I say "Because it's fucking disgusting." I have no scientific answer for that one. I don't need one. I refuse to research it. That is my answer. It is common sense. This is not the '50's. Don't smoke. Don't drink soda. Period. I'm a little biased on this one because I've never had a soda. I guess I had a sip once when I was a toddler and didn't like the carbonation. I must have thrown a pretty big fit because no one poured me one again. When it was being served, they just said "You don't like that." So, I was the kid with water at the birthday parties. I'm 40 now and I still won't drink it. And thank goodness, because my struggle with food and willpower sucks enough.
Most importantly, I let them know that we are not a cult. You don't HAVE to eat Zone or paleo. We haven't found anything else that works better for the CrossFitter, but for a lot of athletes, this is just what they do to exercise and socialize. THAT IS IT AND THAT IS FINE. Just try to eat as clean as possible. That is a good rule of thumb for anyone. Truly, on day 31 of a challenge, people seem to bow to the Krispy Kreme gods. I want people to try to aim towards a lifestyle change that is permanent and reasonable for them. If you eat fast food sometimes and sometimes we do, use the smart phone and access the nutritional information. Ask for substitutions at restaurants. I'd rather be "That bitch who doesn't want dressing on her salad" than "That fat bitch who doesn't want dressing on her salad." The folks at Red Lobster will get over it. Buy organic. Shop fresh and locally. Look for hormone free foods. If you eat boxed or processed foods, and let's face it, a lot of our clients do, go to sites like http://www.hungry-girl.com/ and find the better choices of bread, snacks for your family etc. Breakfast cereal is freaking delicious and if it is relatively good for you then it makes a nice break from eating eggs, fruit and oatmeal. I only ask that they put in the same amount of effort researching what they may put INTO their bodies that they would put into finding a cute pair of boots online. Or trolling for porn. You know, whichever. This nutritional stuff is not black and white. There is a lot of grey area. If we were that strict, we would sound like a cult and people would be scared of us. I want my athletes to know right from wrong but still feel free to admit their faults. Plus, they always teach me a thing or two. Especially since I'm open to learn from them, as well.
Lastly, I encourage them to talk to each other incessantly about this topic. I don't know everything and my athletes are a constant wealth of new information. It is like having your own personal Wellness Squad. Don't bore your friends and coworkers about what is the best post wod snack-another thing I push constantly-and Zone blocks. I'll bet my Converse collection that they don't care that Zone bars are not balanced into perfect blocks. Save it for the Box. They already think you're crazy to do ANYTHING that tears the skin off of your hands. The other athletes are the best resource they have on this subject. That and the Internet.
My husband and myself are Trainers and he is co-owner of our Affiliate. An 80/20 Zone or Paleo plan (80% strict, 20% whatever) is reasonable for us because CrossFit is our lifestyle and our profession. It may not work for all of our athletes and their lifestyles. I'll be frank, my situation is ideal and I struggle with the nutritional side daily. My willpower is 60/40. On the positive side, I'm pretty honest about it and it has made me approachable for people who are self conscious about their struggle with food. I just try to let them know that we can do this together and I really want to help them succeed. I have helped guide others down a better path and helping them has helped me. And I know that they can really tell that I mean it.
Martha, I hope this answers your questions and I hope that you have an amazing 2012! On a funny note, I just hit the spell check and I misspelled the word nutritional throughout this entire email!!!
Best wishes for a Happy New Year!
Nicole
p.s. Since this is also my blog, I am posting an instructional running video that I received from one of my athletes. I hope you don't mind. Thanks!
I remember a few years ago when I was talking to a Crossfitter from another State. Being friends on Facebook but not really knowing her, I told her how I admired her strength, her seemingly effortless balancing of home, CrossFitting, nutrition and parenting. I admired her updates about her perfect family, body, meals and the Christmas pictures. The fucking Christmas pictures. The perfect tree, the spotless kitchen while she is making cookies with her toddler-I mean really. How the fuck do you do that? The perfect shots of licking the spoon and sharing one cookie. One. Again, how the fuck? Perfect hair, clothes, home blah blah blah. I could go on, but we all know these people. I'm sure you get a Christmas letter from someone like this. The kind of letter that makes you feel fat, unorganized and functionally illiterate. I told her this in February. And she told me "Isn't that what CrossFit is all about? Learning to balance everything and be better at life?" I literally felt myself getting weaker and uglier as she said this. I took a big drink from my sugary Starbucks drink and said "Yeah! Pr in life, sure..." Then, I probably tied my sweatshirt around my waist so my ass would look smaller as I walked away. A week later, she let it slip that she hadn't taken down her "beautiful live Christmas tree" she purchased so she could replant it with her child and make us all feel like earth rapers. She also never watered it and it was dead. Needles were everywhere and the City wouldn't pick it up. Tree still up? In February? Like a crackhead.
If we are friends on Facebook and you are trying to figure out if this is you, first of all, screw you for being the kind of woman we all want to roundhouse kick in the forehead and second, she de-friended me and moved to Twitter forever ago. Sorry.
There is something to be said for perfection and the social media. We are as perfect or imperfect as we present ourselves to others. As far as you know, I wake up in my bacon house, put on my Lulu and drive my bacon car to the Box, crush my deadlift and rowing WOD, drink a Progenex, have more bacon, teach a few classes, go through all the witty shit that people email and message me and re-post the funnier stuff, make a gourmet Zone meal for my family and get 8 hours of sleep. If you are not on the Daily Nicole Wagon, this is all you know.
I'm regarded in my family as organized. This is not true. I just appear to have my shit together. I do have the best of intentions.
With my Holiday baking...
My intentions.
My results.
With Holiday lighting...
My plan.
My Christmas lights.
This is really my garage floor. It is also an actual picture of my clusterfuck of Christmas lights.
I will end up cramming it all back in the Rubbermaid container so it can give me the finger again next year.
I forget to move the Elf on the Shelf. Then lie about it to my child. "You must be sleepy! He was over there yesterday."
I buy gift cards because there is part of me that believes that money really can buy some degree of happiness.
I wrap up pictures of gifts I purchase last minute because they will never arrive in time. Who doesn't love an envelope on Christmas morning?
Santa doesn't wrap gifts at my house and never has wrapped gifts. Why? Because on the normal morning, I wake up 30 minutes before everyone else so I can rid the world of the horrid bitch that crawls out from beneath the covers. I don't have that luxury at the crack of Christmas dawn. So, instead of helping unwrap toys, I can sit on the couch and let the caffeine do its magic while saying such phrases as "Wow!" and "You must have been very good this year." By the time I feel awake and normal, we can start unwrapping gifts as a family.
This is what MY kitchen looks like when I cook:
And, I sure don't look this happy:
"OMG, cooking is SOOOOO fun!"
I waste time searching for pictures like this instead of wrapping presents.
or this one:
Hey, it's a Light Bright!
Yet, it all seems to work out every year. My daughter and husband feel loved and happy. It's not about the gifts, the food or the Elf. We look forward to our traditions and decorations, It's all good. Every year.
Merry Christmas, my sweet readers. Post some of your Christmas fails for me to see. It helps us all feel human.
Oh, I didn't get a chance to do Christmas cards this year. I hope one of these will fill the void where mine should have gone. Happy Holidays!!!
"The Open starts in February!!! Should I start refreshing the page now?!?!?!?!?!"
The term Leaderboarding is on Urban Dictionary, Rich Froning was all glisten-y and glossy in People magazine and the Doctor's TV show did a variation of Fight Gone Bad that I called The Demise of a Dynomax-Don't slam me, bro. The Open is going to be HUGE this year. It's a reality show for CrossFitters. And, you can be in the cast.
"F.U. Nicole. The Open is NOT like a reality show. Stop calling attention to the Open. The site will crash and it will be partly your fault. You and Reebok. I'm not going to read your blog anymore and I hate your analogies." Hi, haters!
It's a little like American Idol. A bunch of people sign up and compete week after week. Everyone from the Firebreathers to the noobs. Mainsite highlights some Cinderella stories. There will be some amazing athletes that come out of nowhere and by July, we will all know their names. There will be some amazing and some very awful video submissions presented to the Games site. And thousands of people will become the fittest judges on Earth. Some of the videos will make you wonder "Whiskey-Tango-Foxtrot". People will leave comments. CrossFitters love to comment as much as they love to squat. Remember...Just because your shit is 100% grass fed paleo, doesn't mean it doesn't stink to someone else. Be nice.
And then we have Regionals. Then, the 2012 Games. The Golden Ticket. And we will watch our CrossFit reality show. Our Super Bowl. Our stories. And, it shall be good.
It's been a huge year. We've seen what a little Reebok can do for our sport. The uniforms didn't hinder the Games athletes and their awesomeness. As it turns out, taking away the Luon wasn't like kryptonite after all. They asked the athletes to swim and throw a softball-it doesn't make Reebok the Taliban. So, we are a little more well known now. TONS of people have started to CrossFit. Affiliates are popping up everywhere, like Starbucks. That's because CrossFit is freaking awesome. The secret is out. And, it is going to get bigger and more popular. Then, it will level out. That's how shit works. Deal. I've never understood that- "Oh, please Reebok, don't sponsor our sport. We don't need to grow. I can say this because my sub-4 Fran time makes me an expert on the entire CrossFit corporation and its innermost workings and financial information. Tra-la-la." Just trust that the people who've brought us this far know what the fuck they're doing. OK? OK.
We won't end up like this.
I promise.
Anyway, back to the Open. People need to be open in our Open-not assholes. We are supposed to be a community, right? Not like this:
Like this:
A community.
Be honest.
Have you drifted away from what someone was so kind to share with you when you started? When you got your muscle-ups, did you lose something else? Is this CrossFit 'serious shit' that most of the other people at your Box don't understand? Have you forgotten what it is like to finish scaled and triumphant? Or, just happy to finish-fuck your pr? Have you forgotten what it felt like to fall in love with the total package. MMMMmmmmmm....Kool Aid. I'm going to tell everyone I know and meet about my CrossFit WODs. My co-workers are starting to fucking hate me because I won't shut up. Do you miss that?
Because here is a reality check. The average CrossFitter may never travel to other Boxes. They may not ever go and watch Regionals or the Games or even a large CrossFit event. This is their kick ass exercise program. And, their social outlet. That is it. And, that is OK. Are you a time or strength leader at your Box? You may be the best CrossFitter some of your fellow athletes will ever watch in person. You're their Mikko or Miranda. Your athleticism is admired and so is your hard work. People look up to you. Please, don't be an asshat about it. Pay it forward and strengthen our community.
Here is my suggestion, regardless of your standings in the CrossFit community. We all entertain the thought of an Open relationship.
Get your heads out of the gutter. It's not really a cult. I'm not suggesting you start sleeping with the leaders.
Sorry. I couldn't resist that.
No, I'm suggesting that if this is our reality show then be in it. Front and center, like a bad ass mother. Find someone at your Box and encourage them to register with you. Really make the Open a community event and make it an opportunity to help and encourage your fellow athletes. Hence, Open relationships.
Discuss nutrition with each other. Don't have a "I just eat Kale, salmon and almond butter for lunch. Then, I have a post WOD protein and Tabasco smoothie with my ultra elite supplements. All organic and you suck" attitude. Take the time to share what you've learned with the new guys. Counsel each other. Friend them on Facebook. If you're old school CrossFit, make up the biggest pitcher of Kool Aid and share it.
Oh, yeah!
What I'm saying, if you don't get it already, is that the Open is not only a chance to crush those fuckers that were on your tail last year. It is not only an opportunity to leaderboard, get your nutrition back in check and buy some new, kick ass WOD wear. The Open is a chance to fall in love with CrossFit again. Build the community and make EVERYONE feel welcome.
This:
Not this:
If you walk into the Box and people are separated like a junior high dance-Elite athletes on this side of the room and everyone else on the other side- there is something wrong. Fix it. BTW, the new people's memberships pay for all the cool equipment that seems to be popping up at your Box. It's not magic, it's $$$. Money is the shit. None of us own Boxes because it is lucrative.
Look, I'm a realist. I don't think I'll be moving forward till I can qualify for the Masters, but I still compete. Why? It's good experience and it is fun to see where you rank. That's right. I do the Open for fun. It is supposed to be fun. You're allowed to still think this is fun AND crush that old pr. I take it seriously and do my best. Irregardless, it is the most fun under $20 you can have legally.
So go out and Forge Open Relationships with LOTS of people. Share your stories and videos. Be part of the story. Someone will be following your progress. Someone you may never meet will see your name above their name on the Leaderboard week after week and say "Fuck!" And, your hard work will make them try harder, do better, be better. Sounds pretty good to me.
Oh, and on a personal note, I turn 40 tomorrow. And it feels awesome!
