"Excuse me, I don't think there's anything wrong with the action on this piano..."

Sometimes, I finish last. I'm okay with that. But it has been a LONG time since I've been in what I call the "Circle of Trust." Do you know the Circle? The last one who finishes the WOD is surrounded by everyone else who has finished and they cheer that person on till they are done. Here is the thing....it's been a while since I've been that person. You forget how it feels.
Just because you finish last does not mean that you will be encompassed by the Circle of Trust. But if it is a gruelling WOD and people see you putting up a good fight to finish, the Circle will form.

We see it on every level of competition. You probably saw it happen numerous times while watching the Games last weekend. Remember this?

It happens to newbies, too. Who doesn't like a good fight? You just can't help but root for someone and in CrossFit, you can be last and still feel like you earned the Championship belt.

I went to the LivXFit Coaches Summit, which was great, btw.We had a workout every day. The last day was a partner WOD. Here was my sad strategy. It's fucking hot. All the dashboard pictures on Facebook should have told you that but in case you didn't know.....it's hot.

My strategy was to pick a partner who would be sympathetic to my crapulence. I chose Mary. She is not only a bad ass coach and CrossFitter but a mother to a beautiful baby. I figured she was dialed into sensitivity and perhaps a little sleep deprived. When it is hot, you are a 40 year old woman in a room with younger peeps and you are pretty sure you are the slowest in the pack, you pick strategically. So, I chose her. Because we were doing a cash out of double unders. And, I SUCK at those. We had to collect 250 to end the WOD. I put on my game hat.

Mary was a great partner and didn't mind that we were finishing last. She could get in 20 double unders but made sure that I put in my 10 each time. My sad single double single double single double 10. But, I did it. Now, 40 isn't old. It does not even qualify you for the Masters. But, I went into that WOD feeling freaking old and hot and cranky. Then, as I was stomping through those double unders, the Circle formed. And I felt that surge. They knew I was truly trying my best. And everyone loves a good fight. So that group of coaches stayed with us till the end. Cheering, encouraging and supporting. I finished last but didn't feel like a loser. The Circle of Trust is so genuine and truly almost magical. It's a highly concentrated grief support group. It's immediate and genuine camaraderie and it is one of the things that makes our community great. We help each other through our struggles. We help carry the emotional burden of a soul crushing WOD. As a coach, I may finish last sometimes because my weight is heavier or my movements are more complex. But, this was an even playing field. And it had been a long time since I was that person at the end. That person who you notice is still fighting after you have had time to catch your breath. That athlete that you form the Circle of Trust around and encourage. I'm really glad we finished last that day. The Circle of Trust is one of the foundations of our Community. And as a coach, if we don't go back to foundations every once in a while, we just may drift off the path. It may seem like an awful experience, finishing last in a group of your peers. It sounds worse to KNOW that you WILL be finishing last before you even begin. But it was a gratifying experience.

I often feel misread as an athlete. And a lot of times it is because of my own negative self-talk. I need to remember that the only way I should feel bad after a workout is if I gave up the fight. I'll take one in the jaw but get up and fight back! I feel like the old electric piano at Ray's Music Exchange in the Blues Brothers. I look like hell sometimes, but when played correctly, there is still some action in this piano. I'm lucky to be a member of this great CrossFit community. When pushed and encouraged and cared for, we can do more than we thought we could. And, feel good about the results, no matter where we finish. Even if you sometimes feel like an old, electric piano from Ray's.