Parents and coaches just don't understand...



It is so hard to be a parent. You want your child to like you, but your job is to parent first. I have a huge issue with parents who are so concerned with being their child's pal that they forget we are trying to raise decent human beings. Then, when the shit comes down, and it will, the child thinks the parent is a Nazi for wanting them to finally work at their full potential. If you parent right first, then the friendship will follow later. Naturally. That is why it is creepy when a 40 year old wants to hang with the 15 year old crowd. It is not natural. And in many scenarios, flirting with the darker edges of our legal system. Leaders, like parents, command respect. If you drop the ball there, then you have to start demanding respect. And, you sound like a douche.

Coaching is like that. Am I calling my athletes kids? Never. Am I saying that I do not want to be friends with our clients? You know that is not true. We have lots of fun outside of the Box. But, you do have to command respect while you are there. What is frustrating for me is when I am thought of as a hard ass or a bitch for believing in you. Don't make me the mean mom because I know you have another rep in you before we call time. I'm not some unfeeling person because I want you to get on the bar. I do not expect perfection in form. I'm not perfect. Many of you have skills that far exceed my own. But, I watch you and scores of others every day. And, I know how talented you are and I know your capabilities. So, when you are tired and down on yourself, I want to be there to tell you to get on the bar. Not only because it is MY JOB, but because whether you believe it or not, you CAN get one more burpee. You can attempt one more clean. You're exhausted. I am standing there with my coffee and am not. My perspective of time might just be more right on than yours at that moment in time. And, if you get one more today, you may get two more reps next month. I love my athletes. When you drop the bar, I still love you. No more or no less.

It took me a long time to see that the people who coach me don't care about me on a sliding scale. I remember crying during the Air Force WOD and actually saying "Stop yelling at me!" Did it occur to me at the time that they were yelling for me? That they could see that me feeling sorry for myself was actually outweighing my physical exhaustion? Of course not. I was the child in this scenario. Everyone was just being unrealistic. Mean. Don't they know I can't do this? Don't they know that I'm just not as good as everyone else? Why do they hate me? I've disappointed them. I bet they go home and talk about what a fucking waste of time it is to coach me.

And I have had countless other moments like that one. Every coach has had them. And if they say they haven't, they are fucking lying. I don't care who you are. You HAVE had that moment where you just wanted to quit and have the world swallow you whole, med ball and all, than hear another person tell you to "Go."

People may not always like to be pushed. But then, why do we CrossFit at a Box? Because we don't have equipment? You could buy it with what you pay in dues. Because there is no one to program your WOD? There is free programming everywhere on the Internet. No. We come because we need a push. We like the people. We want the results. And deep inside, we know they believe in us. And care for us unconditionally. Just like a family.

Just a little perspective on what is going on in my mind when I coach you. I don't want you walking out with any regrets. We have had people leave. That's life and that is fine. Go back to the gym. I guarantee that they will have the same issues with their body and their motivation in six months, but then they will have to find someone else to blame. And, I guaran-effing-tee it won't be themselves. Any program will be a success if you are willing to admit and face your weaknesses. The only difference between me and them is I admit mine, which are plentiful. Any deficits that I have in my skills and nutrition are my own fault. And wherever I go in life, my weaknesses go with me. But, I don't hide them. I'm an open book. And, I'm stronger for it.

Don't want to be pushed? Ever? Just tell me that-I don't care. Less shit for me to do. I will not take it personally and will focus solely on your safety and form instead. You've had a shitty day and just want to get your blood moving? Grand. I truly like you the same as I did the day before when you hit it hard, which is probably an awful lot. I don't judge. I have been there. But what I won't do is carry around the blame for your failures. You get in what you put in.

Just like a parent, I want to see you reach your full potential. Whether you like me or not today, I will keep believing in you. Because I am blessed by having you in my life and I truly love coaching. And that, my friends, is why I am probably the happiest, hard ass bitch you know.

“Victory is reserved for those who are willing to pay its price.”
- Sun Tzu