Yay Burpees!!!!!!!!!! or I'm dating CrossFit.

Me and Coach Mike Burgener-thank God he has a sense of humor.

I went this past weekend to an Olympic Lifting Certification.  How timely, as my week 3 Open WOD totally sucked.  I got a clean.  One.  No jerk.   I felt like an ass.

Now, I am strong.  I am.  But, my technique stunk that day.  Duh, you say.  You got one.  You can deadlift heavy.  You pull your ass up in pull-ups.  It was only 110#.  WTF, Nicole?

I had wished it was going to be overhead squats, back squats, front squats.  Squats, please.  Perhaps a row.  But, even when I read the WOD, I never thought that I couldn't do it.  Yes, it was pretty close to my one rep. max, but damn....

At least I didn't have to check the box for scaling.

Stay on the positive side, right?

Right.

Because that is how I chose to approach The Open.  Look, I knew going in that I wouldn't get in the top 60 in my region.  So, why not try to enjoy the WODs and use this time to remember why I love CrossFit in the first place?  So, I am dating CrossFit.

That's right.  Dating.  I will go for the worst pun ever and call it my "Open" relationship with CrossFit.  You see, I had settled into a routine.  I didn't want to try new things.  I read the WODs like a to-do list.  I went through the motions.   Some of the things that I used to find attractive about CrossFit were now getting on my nerves.  I just wanted to coach-Gosh, I love coaching-and that was kind of it.  If you were to compare the direction that I was going in to a bad marriage, I was leaning towards staying in it for the kids sake.  The kids being the coaching aspect.

Did I still love CrossFit?  Yes!  Holy smokes, YES!!!  I was just in a funk.  I studied so hard for my Level one Cert. and then ran my half-marathon a month later.  I had 'empty nest syndrome'.  Worse yet, I was starting to remind myself of the people who irritate me.   You know, like the people who post crap on Mainsite like "Why is Pat Sherwood wearing Reebok Zigs?  He wouldn't be allowed to lift at my Box in those." or "Why did HQ post THAT picture?  I'm so not jazzed..."  Forging Fitness for Elitists.  Yuck.

Here are some of the things I'm going to try.....

To not feel entitled.  Relationships are hard work.  New ones are fun to work on.  We never mind putting forth that extra effort when we are dating.  Example:  I'm not entitled for you to pay for the movie tickets.  It sure feels nice that you did, though.  I'll buy the snacks.  Good things come to those who put forth the effort.  I'm not entitled to a PR.  Or, some days, not even my previous 1 rep. max. is going to happen.  It happens to everyone.  Chillax.

Get a little dirty with it-.  DAMN, that WOD was fun-I'm talking to you, Week 2.  I'm sweaty, confused and a little nauseous.  Let's rest up and do it again! 

See things from more than the obvious perspective.  Then, rejoice in the differences.  In the beginning of a relationship, you brag about the differences. Later, they just piss you off.  Stop, and "enjoy the bacon".  So and so may box jump different than anyone else.  Or kettlebell swing like a fucking gorilla at the zoo.  But, no matter how different it is from yours, if the basic criteria is met then leave it alone.  I'm not saying that it is OK to worm a game standard push-up.  I'm just saying that everyone has a unique style.  And if the end result is legit, who am I to complain?  Angry gorillas throw poop, by the way. 

I'm also TRYING to remember to relax and see blessings in every situation.  And, to remember to have fun.  Mistakes happen-move on.  In the video below, I exclaim "Crap!" and cause some burpees at my Olympic Lifting Certification.

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=1677739748287

Now, if you know me, the hidden blessing is that I didn't drop the nuclear "F" Bomb.  I take the blessings where I see them, folks.  It was a great day. 

And mostly, to remember that love conquers all.  And the heart can move mountains.

At the end of the Certification, the astute Coach B. showed us a video of the 2008 Olympics.  Matthias Steiner won the Gold after losing his wife 13 months earlier.  The athlete before him reset incorrectly after the clean and jerk, and missed the lift.  Watching the consequences of a bad reset was valuable.  Yes.  But, I would like to think, since I am in that giddy, dating CrossFit mindset, that Coach B. showed us the video to remind us about heart. 

                     "I managed to lift it because I had this strong, innermost urge," said Steiner.

When you love someone or something, that love takes on a power of it's own.  You walk taller.  You can jump higher.  You want to make it proud of you, no matter where they may be.  You open yourself up and give life your honest effort.  You feel giddy when you wake up in the morning and you think about them  when you are away.  I've never wanted to see someone make a lift as much as I wanted to see him clean and jerk that 258kg.  And, I KNEW how the video ended!  Mr. Steiner has heart. 

So, I'm going to keep dating CrossFit.  We had our differences last week during WOD 3, but I'm looking forward to our date on Wednesday morning.  I'm going to put on my best Lulu, chalk up and have fun.

I may even put out, a little.:)

Happy Week 4, my fellow athletes!

AMTAP in 6 weeks......

I've been watching videos on the CrossFit Open site and going through the Leaderboards.  Wow.  I've seen some AMAZING stuff!  And, I would like to take this opportunity to congratulate my fellow athletes and friends.  Some of you are borderline Jedi.

I would also like to throw out a big "THANK YOU" to my family at CrossFit SoMO.  I suffer from performance anxiety and double-unders are not my thing...yet.:)  Thanks for the respect that you show each other while judging and spectating.  We support each other and respect one another enough to call "No rep." 

That was the amazing thing I kept seeing on "The Site".  WTF?  Range of motion is clearly stated in the video provided by HQ.  Actually, to be an ass about it, range of motion should be taught at the Box during your on-ramp phase or if you are a garage gym, from watching Mainsite demo videos.

I know what some of you are thinking. 

No.

Have you seen the athletes who got scores less than 10?  They're on there.  They busted their butts, got as many attempts in as possible and walked away with a few double-unders.  Hold your heads high.   You should be proud of the score that you submitted!  I have more respect for those guys than the 'clean grip snatch, 29 double-under, not locked-out 6 rounds' videos I've been watching.

My friends have enough respect for me and themselves to call "No rep." Thanks guys!  Love you!

BTW, I got 1 full round, 30 d/u and 6 snatches...LEGIT. 

Is that going to move me forward?  No.  But, all my snatches were locked out.  It took me around 4 minutes to 30 double-unders, sets of 5 for my snatches and another 4 minutes for the next 30.  I did the last 6 with the time I had left.  But, I did the rx'd work with integrity and honesty.

Do I think all of the people who submitted questionable videos know that some of their reps shouldn't count?  No.  Sometimes the possible range of motion for an athlete has to do with ability, injury, flexibility etc.  Anyone who has been to a CrossFit competition will tell you that each Judge is different.

Here's a story....

I'm at the HOA Challenge and we are doing Fight Gone Bad.  I'm on the scaled team.  My row was 18 cal., my push presses are good, my box jumps are pretty good and here comes wallball.  I'm a little excited because it is a 10lb. ball and that's lighter than what I usually use.  The target is this loft wall with people looking at you over the edge.  That was....varied.  My judge was an athlete I admire-that's his arm in the picture.  We'll call him Nemo. :)

I was hitting over the line every time.  If Nemo was doing a wallball, his standard would be ENTIRE ball over the line.  I've always been happy if the ball hit the wall over the tape line.  So, as a competitor, I had to perform up to his standards that he would set for himself.  I had a round of more "No reps."  than "Good!"  Bummer.  BUT, now I hold myself to a higher standard on wallballs.  His "No Reps" made me a better athlete.  Plus, I didn't say the f-word, so it was a personal growth moment, as well.  Thanks Nemo!

It will be interesting to see how it all comes out in the end.  I'm going to do my best and keep holding myself to a higher standard.  It may not be Jedi, but I'm too legit to quit!

Good luck, Friends!

Bring on week 2! 

 

Cheater! Cheater! Cupcake eater!

On March 1st, I started Zone.  For all my complaining and Zone-bashing, I felt that it was important to try Zone, so that I can teach Zone to our athletes at the Box.  It's been going great-not the huge suckfest I was expecting.  And then, I went to Springfield....
well, crap.
My lack of focus on nutrition is comparable to what is so fucked up with our society.  I lose weight, I treat myself.  We pay off a credit card and celebrate our financial willpower with a $300 pair of boots-put on the card we just paid off.   Somehow, because it is high-end treats, I feel like it is OK.  Five dollar lattes, truffle Parmesan french fries, 18 year-old balsamic reduction over french bread with imported olive oil, nice wine.   I actually purchased a $4.89 cupcake.  It was just lovely.  But, all in all, after my weekend of indulgence, I felt like crap.  Literally.  AND, it showed in my WOD on Monday.  My time was TRULY horrible.
It made me think of my favorite quote, or at least part of the quote:

"We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?"

Well?  Good question.  Who am I to give all the hard work I do the finger by mucking it up with poor nutritional choices?   I make mature choices about my finances, parenting and time management.  Really, is eating crap a way to hold on to part of my youth?  Or is it just fun to be naughty?
Don't answer that.  Naughty is almost always fun.  I PR almost every time!
So, back on the Zone, I go.  Which is going pretty well.  Damn Zone.
I hate it when I'm wrong.
Now it's time to concentrate on being brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous.  Week One of the CrossFit Open has begun!  I have a fortnight to improve my double-unders....
Normally, a week is 7 days, but the 1st week's deadline has been extended.  A week of double-unders feels like 14 days, anyways. :)
Good luck, if you're competing! 

I don't go all the way OR the story of my half marathon.

"Strong people are harder to kill than weak people, and more useful in general." ~Mark Rippetoe

Well, I did it!  I ran my 1st half marathon.  Resolution check list is getting done.  It was amazing!  It was fun!  It was an eye opener on many levels.

I'm going to preface this whole thing by saying that I did NOT conventionally train for this race and if you are considering running a half, don't follow my 'program'.  I did not follow a running program in preparation on my half marathon.  I felt I would be too tired to do that, CrossFit and prepare for my Level 1 Cert., so I chose to just WOD as I normally do.  Runners should prepare for a big run.  If you want to walk a half marathon, then get out there!  You CAN do it.  But still, you need to put in some miles prior to your big day.

First, my training kind consisted solely of CrossFit, although I did venture out one Sunday and ran seven miles without stopping.  I NEVER once thought of running the entire thing.  NEVER.  I just thought that I would run the first 6 or so then walk/run the rest.  Here's how it went...

I went to EPCOT the night before and had a great little spinach noodle/shrimp dish at Nine Dragons.  I also had some yummy guacamole and chips at the Mexico Pavilion earlier that day.  My day before the race was spent cheering Chase and Sydney in the Royal Family 5k and riding rides at EPCOT.  They had a great time running together and did an amazing job.  Sydney called Chase her Prince Charming.  :)

If you've ever spent a day in an amusement park with your family, it was just as relaxing as it sounds.  FUN, but eating exotic food and walking all day and into the evening would not be my suggestion to you the day before running 13.1 miles. 

My goal for my 3am wake-up?  To not wake up my family, get into my princess garb and get coffee and food before getting on the bus at 3:30-that's 2:30 Missouri time folks.  Last time I was up at 2:30, I was either rocking a baby to sleep or I was sitting in a Denny's reminiscing about the evening with a plate of Moon Over My Hammy.  But, I did wake up with a spark in me and felt pretty rested!

There were 13,091 finishers in the Princess Half Marathon.  About 900 men and the rest were women.  My guess is that every Port-a-Potty on the Eastern side of the United States was sent to Orlando for this event.  Was it enough?  No, of course not.  But they are at almost every mile marker on the course.  The line was usually 6 or 7 Princesses deep.  But if we were a Princess for the day, then we ruled over Shitland-these thrones were foul.  Not so foul that I didn't stop seven or eight times during the race.  But when I ran thru the Magic Kingdom, I did zip into a real bathroom in Tommorowland.  I figure 3 minutes  a 'pit stop' was 21-24 minutes added to my time.  It was sooooo worth it.  Feel free to make a Princess and the Pee joke.

As a CrossFitter, everything is for time, so my thought process felt foreign.  I made it a point to not focus on time and just see what I could do.  'For time' was too intimidating for me.  I had never done this before and I don't like to run.  When people asked me what my goal was for a finish time, I always said that I wanted to make it from the Start to the Finish line.  I had no time in my head.  I just wanted to move my body 13.1 miles.

  At mile three, I wasn't surprised that I was still running.  That's just a 5k.  Or at mile 5.  I tried to think of it as rounds, not miles.  That's a little like setting your clock ahead so you 'think' you've slept till 6:20, when it is actually 6am.  Stupid trick, but it was working, so I went with it.  It was like an endurance WOD.  Six rounds, seven rounds in-I'm still running!  Holy crap!  Mile eight was supposed to be the stereotypical point where you break down, but that was a motivator for me. I'm too stubborn to break down where someone tells me I will.  I was already past 7 and would rather choose mile 9 or 10 to lose it.  And I'll make it epic.   Just to be different.

When I was still running to Mile 10, I saw a little girl with a sign that said "My Mommy is my favorite Princess".  I almost stopped and gave her a hug.  That sign, made by some random little girl, made me push to run the last 3.1.  We need to be that for our daughters.  I wanted Sydney to be the kind of girl that says "Sure, I'll try a half marathon.  Why not?  My Mom did it." 

Disney does a great job motivating you too!  There were entertaining things to see and hear along the course.  These beefy firemen from the Reedy Creek Fire Dept. were popular with the ladies:

Plus, your friends and family could track you on their phones.  Online tracking is motivating-someone is watching you!  Chase said that I got faster as the race went along.  I'm proud of that.  It was really hard to run in a crowd of runners and walkers.  The crowd got thinner as people started to walk.  That helped my speed.

On a side note and speaking of thinner, there were all shapes and sizes in that half marathon!  I saw 2 girls that looked like fitness models before the race.  I past them on mile 3.  They were walking and exhausted.   Display model only.  I also got SMOKED by many ladies that were large by anyone's standards.  Athletes come in all shapes and sizes-remember that.

So do Princesses.

The best was Mile 13.  Point 1 to go and there was the  most amazing gospel choir.

 

I was raised Catholic.  Our choirs aren't like this, but in my opinion, every choir should be.  It was like a direct link to Heaven and I could use a little Jesus at this point.  I don't know who they were, but God bless each and every one of them.  I sped up, rounded the corner and saw the Finish Line.   Then, I crossed it.

 I ran the whole thing.  And did it in 2:58:14.  Considering that 20+ minutes was spent answering the 'call of nature', my actual running time was in the upper 2:30's.  And I only cried when I saw my family at the finish line.

"How was it?" they asked.

"I ran the whole thing."

That's when I had my breakdown.  That's when I cried. 

I went to the hotel, took a shower and did what many say that they would do after a personal triumph-I went to Disney World.

I did learn a few things along the way:

1.  I do everything better in a tiara.

2.  A positive attitude can give you fairy wings.

3.  Princess is a state of mind.  And there is more than one path to feeling like one.

I hate to run.  I'm slow and my form isn't perfect.  But I believe in me, so I tried what seemed the impossible.  And I did it.

And I believe in you.  So, go do something you thought you couldn't do. 

You can do it!

You know what really chaps my a**?

Would you like to know who is a friend?  Who has your back?  Here is a surefire formula.  It works 100% of the time.  Are you ready?  Here it comes.......

Be happy.  Achieve your goals.  Radiate confidence and pride.  You'll be amazed at who will be happy for you and who will think you've suddenly developed serious flaws.  It's the world's most effective reality check.

You see, some people wake up in the morning and have a big plate of

 they get their coffee and settle into their day. 

I don't like them.

They aren't my real friends.

I found out who my real friends were when I started to become active in CrossFit.  Am I saying that I only have friends who are CrossFitters now?  No.  It's not a cult.  But I do have a lot of great friends at the Box. 

But people I've been friends with for a while were really comfortable with who they are in relation to who I was.  And they found the change unsettling.  And the haters came out to feast on what they viewed as my new flaws.  And the passive aggressive haters circled above me like vultures.

Not everyone is like this.  I have tons of genuine friends that I have had for many years who are happy for me.  I have an amazing husband and family who support me and my happiness. 

 Do I think that this is printed on my forehead?

No.  I do not.

Does it bother me that people that I thought of as my friends don't support me and my goals?  Yes, a little.  Because I thought that I was a better judge of character-my bad.  I can't change anyone else but myself, so I'm not going to ask them to stop being a hater. 

But I thought that this was a funny blog. :(

Well, I'm not always funny.  And, it's called Panties in a WOD.  As in, "Cripes, why are her panties all in a wad?"

And there are some things I would like to address.  If you want a little humor, then read my past posts or check back with me next time.  But now, I would like to address the Haters who are in my life.

Do I think that some of my Haters read my blog?  Yes.  Because I think it feeds their need to feel superior over me. "What is she writing this week?  This is stupid.  She needs to take  a refresher course in punctuation and participles."  Well, you're spending your time reading it.  If you don't like it, may I suggest Chaucer?  Canterbury Tales is a great Winter read. 

If you have haters, consider this:  The reason that they are hating on you is your new strengths may be their greatest weakness.  Or, that you are now strong in an area where they were able to control you and your relationship.  Or, unhappiness was the only thing you really had in common in the 1st place.

I worked my ass off to get my Cert.  And it has been a real eye opener on who was happy for me and who just ignored it.  Some people who are 'into exercise' and I thought were my friends treated it like it was a lame status update.

Nicole Scott Smith had toast for breakfast.  posted 4 minutes ago

I may not be perfect.  I may not be the fastest or have the best form, but I am improving every day.  So if you think that I am a lesser athlete or trainer because you are smarter, stronger, leaner, younger or more technically advanced, you are wrong.  My happiest times are spent encouraging others and celebrating their success.  I'm a strong person, but if I carried around all that hate, passive-aggressive bullcrap and judgement, I'd be fucking exhausted.   

I'm also tired of people saying that my friends who enjoy CrossFit are obsessed.  And, that I am.

We are passionate about what we enjoy. Period.  They may be at the Box for 2 hours, and only 30 minutes were spent workout out.  Why didn't they just go home after they were done?  The rest of the time, they were helping and encouraging others.  That's not obsessed.  It's NOT selfish behavior.  That's selfless.   Consider the fact, before you hate on them,  that you may be a little envious that they wake up every morning and have something in their life that they feel that passionate about.  When did you last feel that way about something?  Do they love their families less because they are at the Box more?  No, silly rabbit.  A happy person is a healthy person.  We send people home happy.  Exhausted?  Yes!  But, happy indeed.  I'd rather live with a happy, healthy person.  They are better companions, in my opinion.  But what do I know, right?

If your friend is losing weight, lifting stronger, has a new relationship, a new haircut, hobby or passion and you think the relationship has suffered because they have 'changed', then take a good look at yourself.  If you can't celebrate the success of someone you care about, then look within yourself and ask why.  Just be happy for them.  And, for me.

I'm happy for you.

And, for goodness sakes, be thrilled with your own accomplishments!  Post them, blog about them, tell the world.  You've earned it!  Be solid on how you feel about yourself and where you stand in this world.  And, let the haters figure out why they are so miserable. 

I'm running in my 1st half-marathon next week.  I may have to walk, crawl, cry and stop to pee.  But, I will finish.  Resolution #2......accomplished.

Hate on that.

WODs! WODs! WODs!

We have new whiteboards at the Box!  They record our 1 rep maxes and our times for the Girl WODs and Hero WODs.  They hold our pr's for our runs, rows and other benchmarks.  And, they are really cool looking!  Also, as a coach, they are a valuable tool in regards to accessing our athletes and helping them progress towards awesomeness.  I love the new whiteboards!!!! 

We still need to keep a personal record of all our workouts.  Even more helpful would be to combine that with a record of our current weight and food intake.  And, perhaps a sentence or two of what is happening that day.  All those things combined affect your time, strength and concentration for that day.  For me, these elements help create the WOD's subcategory.  Every WOD I do has one.  Fran is never 'just Fran'.  7x1 back squat day isn't just a strength day.  Not for me, anyways.

Here are some of my WOD subcategories:

The Redemption WOD

The WOD that you needed  to crush.  Because the last 4 or 5 WOD's have sucked.  If you don't do well, you just may cry.  Or, eat a movie theatre sized bag of Twizzlers.  Or both.  You think that something has stolen your CrossFit Mojo.  You question what was once, in your head,  a borderline Jedi ability to CrossFit.   It is the WOD you need to pr. 

The Easy Read

It reads 'easy' on the white board.  3 rounds of anything, low weights with higher reps, 1 minute all out efforts.  General rule of thumb:  If you are reading the WOD and think "Hey!  This won't be so bad.  I'm good at those.  This is MY WOD.  I'm super awesome."  You're wrong.  So very wrong.  And, they never fall on your rest day.  Sorry-I don't know why this seems to be true.  It sucks. 

The Evil One

Your Nemesis.  The one that gives your bowels distress.  The one you read the night before and think about at 2am.  And 2:57am.  And 4:12am.  And then again 24 minutes before your alarm is set to go off.  Now, it has ruined a night of sleep.  This WILL affect your time.   It is trying to sabotage you.  Crafty little f*cker.

The Ricky Bobby WOD

"Here's the deal.   I'm the best there is.  Plain and simple.  I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence. "

You enter the Box and make it so.  Perfect WOD.  Perfect form.  Perfect time.

Shake and bake.

The War Story WOD

People talk about these ones like they were in 'Nam.  The 400m lunge with a 20# vest, the burpee mile, Eva, yesterday......

The list goes on in infamy.

And, they will be back again someday.

Think about that at 2:57am.

The Endurance WOD Grief and Support Group

A Favorite.  At least one hour of loud music, sweat, clanging barbells, grunts and

people muttering to themselves.  But ALWAYS, at least every 3 minutes, someone will yell out something encouraging.  Support?  Yeah, we have that.

The Technical WOD

It doesn't really matter how strong you are or how fast.  A "no rep" is a "no rep."  If your hips don't open at the top.  If it is not locked out overhead.  If the ball doesn't go completely over the line.  If your chest doesn't hit the floor....NO REP!

Like in the Karate Kid, repetition and practice will help you in your WOD.   I always forget that my WOD doesn't have to be my practice time.  I need to learn to do more skill work outside of classtime.  I have to "wax-on/wax-off" before I can "sweep the leg".

and the worst one for me...

Fail WOD

Where the obtainable is JUST out of my reach.  When I don't hit my 1 rep max.  I create my own fail WOD's.  I need to remember that a 1:45 500m row is still a good row for me, even if it isn't a pr.  A 275# deadlift is a good lift for that day, even if it was 20# under my one rep. max.  A scaled WOD with proper intensity is a good WOD.  These are not epic failures.  These days happen.  I need to remember that.  It's only a fail if I quit or call it a fail.  Finish the row, the lift, the double-under attempts.  No more Fail WOD's. 

I wish you a weekend full of Ricky Bobbys!

Just WHAT is offensive?

IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED, DO NOT READ THIS.  THANKS.

Oh, dear.......Oh, my............here it comes.  I just need to know.  WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?!??!??!??!??!?!??!!!  Why are so many people so easily offended? 
Here is the deal.  I frequent a certain website.  It posts daily workouts, links, articles and inspirational photos.  The other day, this photo was posted on the daily entry:

Yowza!  Right?  Now, enlarge this picture.  Go ahead.  This is an amazing shot of someone who treats her body better than most people treat their kids.  Notice her back muscles.  Note that she has great glutes.  Her arms and shoulders are defined.  She has a top notch diet and exercise regimen-obviously.  She has put time and effort into looking like this and it has paid off.  She isn't too skinny.  She has the perfect amount of 'junk in her trunk.'  I'd let my 10 year old daughter see this picture.  I don't let her read my blog, but that is another story....

SOOOOOOOOO, I read the comments posted under the picture.  MOST are complimentary, but one caught my attention.  It read " #26  I'm tired of seeing pictures of vagina on Mainsite."   OK.  So, I decide to post a comment.  It read "Dear #26, I can only speak for myself, but MY vagina is located on the FRONT of my body.  I don't see hers in this picture.  Very inspirational pic of a dedicated athlete!"

It is also noteworthy that someone named Esther posted "Let's see it, Nicole!"  Actually, it's not really that relevant to my story.  It's just nice to be wanted, so Thanks Esther! 

ANYWHO, my comment and 'vagina hater's' comment were deleted.  And I get why.  Filters.  We used the word vagina.  Some people won't be able to access the site at work unless the dreaded V-word is taken off.  I don't look at porn.  Really.  I don't.  But I did Google vagina-that sounds dirty.  The top searches and links are all clinical.  Because vagina is a clinical term.  If I had written who-ha, wee wee, pee pee etc, my comment would still be there.  BUT, we must use filters.  We edit.  We use STUPID terms like who-ha because people get offended WAY to easily.  Oh, and some people surf porn instead of working at their jobs.  Another reason for filters.   But again, that's another story....

I have no problem with 'vagina hater' and his opinion.  We all have opinions.  I just have a problem with the fact that we have become sooooo politically correct, that the word vagina can't be used without  tripping the filter on your computer.  I can think of a BUNCH of insanely offensive terms for vagina!  Actually, some of them are pretty funny.  But the only term I taught my daughter to use is vagina.  I also use words like rectum, arm, femur and elbow.    So there.

What DO you find offensive, Nicole?  Well, very little.  But, it's my blog, so here are my personal top picks:

Racists.

I don't like you.  I think you are foolish and hate having to explain people like you to my child.  I guess I'm racist against racism.  I can live with that.

Douchebags.

Note the duck-face, the excessive highlights and the orange-y fake tan.  They are easy to spot, but in case you were confused, this should help.  Show this picture to your younger cousins, nieces, little sisters or friends who can't distinguish between a well put-together man and a douche.  You're welcome.

                                                                         Liars.

Why?  The truth can be funny, after everyone just calms the fuck down.......



Wilford Brimley.  I just don't trust him.

and finally.....

People who can't laugh at themselves.  You KNOW this sign pissed someone off.   And that's too bad.

Oh, and by the way.  Vagina.  Just because.