We've all been a little Grimey at times.

I love the Simpsons.

 

This is one of my favorite episodes.

Homer has a new co-worker named Frank Grimes. Much to Frank's dismay, Homer refers to him as Grimey.

He hates that.

Everyone loves Homer. Grimey doesn't get why. Grimey feels that is unfair.

 

Grimey becomes obsessed with Homer and his personal success. He doesn't understand how Homer has managed to go to the moon, meet presidents and live in a 2 story home because Homer is generally a screw-up. Grimey lives paycheck to paycheck in a small walk-up apartment. Grimey lives his life by the book. Homer is socially illiterate.

 

Grimey becomes obsessed with pointing out Homer's bumbles and eventually goes off the deep end.

Had Grimey just focused on himself, he could have soared. Instead, he plummets.

 

In our training, we have all had our moments where we have been a little like Grimey.

 

You may know someone who eats poorly but beats you in every cardio WOD. It doesn't seem fair. You are diligent with your diet.

 

Perhaps they just have a natural talent that has made a skill that you struggle with come to them easier. Like the 2nd time they try it. And you've been on a program for a year. AUGH!

 

Remember that success is found within yourself.

Inspiration is found with admiration, not bitterness.

Spite is a weight that only you carry. The barbell is heavy enough.

The skills are hard enough.

Choose to soar.

Don't focus on who is deserving in your eyes.

Choose to focus on you.

You deserve to put yourself first.

Celebrate you.

 

Don't be a Grimey.

 

 

 

 



Prescription for a good nights sleep.

 

10. Be kind to one another.

9. Go outside and breathe. And sweat. 

8. Be thankful for your blessings-emotionally and verbally.

7. Hug your children.

6. Do NOTHING for 5 minutes. It feels pretty nice.

5. Laugh and listen with your friends.

4. Keep your own council.

3. Make the people you're with feel like champions.

2. Believe they are champions. That includes you. You are your most important friend.

1. Turn a gallon of water into pee. Every day.

 

 

 

 

 

You ruined that song for me.

10. "If" by Bread

The lyrics are beautiful.

 

"If a man could be two places at one time,

I'd be with you.

Tomorrow and today, beside you all the way.

If the world should stop revolving spinning slowly down to die,

I'd spend the end with you.

And when the world was through,

Then one by one the stars would all go out,

Then you and I would simply fly away"

Until you find out that it is written about his love for doing drugs and not about a woman.

 

 

                                                9. "Sister Christian" by Night Ranger


                                                           Thanks, Boogie Nights.

There is an edit at the end-sorry.

Spoiler alert:

It doesn't end well.

 

8. "Stuck in the Middle With You" by Stealers Wheel

Reservoir Dogs

 

7. "Don't Go Breaking My Heart" by Elton John & Kiki Dee.

 

DESTROYED by ODB featuring Macy Gray

 My heart is broken.

 

Speaking of hearts, this one should stick with "My Heart Will Go On".

 

6. "You Shook Me All Night Long" by AC/DC

Anastacia & Celine Dion

 

So. Much. Thrusting.

Can't unsee.

 

5. "Reelin' In The Years" by Steely Dan

Donny and Marie

Reeling....

 

4. "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen

William Shatner is killing it.

 Literally.

 

3. "I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz.

Performed by this cute little kid.

Damn it. Does anyone know the lyrics of this song? Not like it was a favorite to ruin but damn.

I give him points for cuteness and ukulele skillz.

 

2. This kind of counts.

Three Beat Slide ruined Summer for me. A season. An entire freaking season with one song.

"Summertime is Great."

 

This helps:

 

 

1. "Let It Be" by the Beatles

Ruined by this guy who is dressed like the Stay Puft Marshmallow man in Ghostbusters.

But the guy on the left side looks like he is going to take him out in the parking lot, so you have that going for you, which is nice.

 

 



I'm uncomfortable with your level of comfortable.

This guy:

Is he on the edge of reality or has he tapped into a level of enlightenment that the rest of us haven't hit yet?

 

I'm serious.

 

Is it possible that people who do things like this live on a level that most of us would envy?

What must this sweet freedom taste like? To wake up and say "I can't be bothered with getting dressed today. Off to Walmart!"

 

I drove my daughter so school today. It was 6:55 A.M. No parent drop-off line. No getting out of the car. And I did it wearing the clothes I slept in the night before.

I felt like I had just robbed a Circle K. 

My anxiety was at an 11.

 

What if I had hit a deer? Had a flat?

What if there was an accident with another car?

I would have been on the side of the road-no bra, teeth un-brushed, pajama pants on with loafers and a hoodie.

 

Like a meth head.

 

And people would drive by wondering "Who the fuck goes out in their pajamas?"

And they would get to their destination and say to their friends "Watch out on K Hwy. Some meth head was on the side of the road looking all crazy."

 

Perhaps the pajama pants bunch are looking at US and thinking "Hey dumbass in your bra and street clothes. You could of gotten away with THIS! It's a pretty sweet deal."

 

 

Or you could forget the whole pretending that the pajama pants are pants and go Full Pajama.

 

You never go full pajama.

 

This is interesting. It says that you know that wearing a nightgown in public is wrong.

 But if pj pants are wrong, she don't wanna be right.

 

 

I like to imagine her posting on Facebook...

Level 10

Robe.

 

 

I don't know...

I just know that I can't.

 

I guess I'll just keep offending people by wearing yoga pants.

 

 

 

Your Psychological Dating Profile aka Pinterest

If I were a single man, I'd check out a girl's Pinterest page before I asked her out. Or told her I liked her shoes. Or anything. And I mean ANY FUCKING THING. Because you couldn't ask for a more accurate Crazy Meter for your next potential crazy ex-girlfriend.

The following are the Top 10 crazy ass boards I found browsing...just freaking browsing on Pinterest:

10. Antique Medical Equipment

Do you want to be the doctor or the patient?

9. Pet Wedding Attire

How awkward would your lady feel if you showed up at her afternoon dog wedding in something more suited for an evening dog wedding? What's your stance on mixed breed marriages? Dog/Cat civil unions?
 Damn.
"It's like you don't even care! This relationship is over. OVER!"

8. My Someday Baby

Names.

Cribs. 

Placenta crafts and recipes.

Let that sink in...

7. I'm over you. (I'm not really over you.)

Leading right into...

 

6. My Future Husband

 

How oddly specific is this?

                                                        

"My future husband wears a bold, elegant watch, even though he could just as easily check his cell phone for the time."

 

5. This one is trickier. It may be called Baubles, or My Style but know this-it's her engagement ring. And it costs more than your watch, Future Husband.

 

4. If she hates her ex this much, imagine how much she could hate you?
Challenge accepted...

 

http://www.pinterest.com/scorpioneagle/the-ex/

It's cool, bro. She has a whole board titled I'm Sorry.

 

3. Crafts

 Auntie Flo

You will be buying her 'art supplies' at Walgreens.

Aisle 5.

 

2. What's for dinner?

 

ummmm.....

 

1. My Time:

Fuck your playoffs.

 

 

 

 

---

 

 

 

Top 10 People Who Hate Your Gainz

TOP 10 PEOPLE WHO HATE YOUR GAINZ

10. Ike Turner hates your gainz.

 

9. Mean girls hate your gainz.

 

8. Cats. I can hate gainz?

 

7. Jealous girlfriends hate your gainz,

 

6. Overly attached gym couple collectively hates your independently gained gainz.

 

5. The Mayor of Gym Town hates your gainz, brah.

 

4. Your ex totally hates your gainz.  

 

 

3. Cobra Kai will sweep your gainz.

 

2. Instagraham Holmburger follows you but still hates your gainz.

 

1. Lots of people hate your gainz.

Screw 'em.

Go have fun!

Granny Panties in a WOD

Top 10 things that make me feel old at the box.

10. The Murph run used to be uphill-both ways.
Just kidding.
But, 55#/35# used to be RX in kettlebell.

9. I know the verb Murski.

8. I don't complain online that I think someone's form sucks or that I think Castro is a dick or Reebok is the devil for sponsoring the Games. I'm not an entitled 13 year old girl or a juiced-up 38 year old living in my parents basement. I believe in community. Still.

7. Libby DiBiase was THE girl in the red shorts well before Stacie Tovar was ever THE girl in THE white shorts.

6. While driving to the Midwestern Sectionals, I called because there were tons of slots open for women to compete but I missed the cut off time by 20+ minutes. You just signed up. And people struggled with the 95#/65# OHS portion of the Air Force WOD. And the 20 minute time cap. Because it was hard.

5. I'm not mad that the Open costs $20. I bought a $4 coffee last week. It lasted 26 minutes. The Open lasts 5 weeks.

4. I have multiple Infidel shirts. I treasure them. And no one I coach knows what it means when I wear them. Athletes have asked if that is an affiliate's name.

3. I remember when we hardly ever snatched. Like, ever.

2. I don't confuse Graham Holmberg with the bad guy from The Karate Kid movie.

1. I have too much Lulu but no pre-workout. I just stretch and drink coffee.