You know what really chaps my a**?

Would you like to know who is a friend?  Who has your back?  Here is a surefire formula.  It works 100% of the time.  Are you ready?  Here it comes.......

Be happy.  Achieve your goals.  Radiate confidence and pride.  You'll be amazed at who will be happy for you and who will think you've suddenly developed serious flaws.  It's the world's most effective reality check.

You see, some people wake up in the morning and have a big plate of

 they get their coffee and settle into their day. 

I don't like them.

They aren't my real friends.

I found out who my real friends were when I started to become active in CrossFit.  Am I saying that I only have friends who are CrossFitters now?  No.  It's not a cult.  But I do have a lot of great friends at the Box. 

But people I've been friends with for a while were really comfortable with who they are in relation to who I was.  And they found the change unsettling.  And the haters came out to feast on what they viewed as my new flaws.  And the passive aggressive haters circled above me like vultures.

Not everyone is like this.  I have tons of genuine friends that I have had for many years who are happy for me.  I have an amazing husband and family who support me and my happiness. 

 Do I think that this is printed on my forehead?

No.  I do not.

Does it bother me that people that I thought of as my friends don't support me and my goals?  Yes, a little.  Because I thought that I was a better judge of character-my bad.  I can't change anyone else but myself, so I'm not going to ask them to stop being a hater. 

But I thought that this was a funny blog. :(

Well, I'm not always funny.  And, it's called Panties in a WOD.  As in, "Cripes, why are her panties all in a wad?"

And there are some things I would like to address.  If you want a little humor, then read my past posts or check back with me next time.  But now, I would like to address the Haters who are in my life.

Do I think that some of my Haters read my blog?  Yes.  Because I think it feeds their need to feel superior over me. "What is she writing this week?  This is stupid.  She needs to take  a refresher course in punctuation and participles."  Well, you're spending your time reading it.  If you don't like it, may I suggest Chaucer?  Canterbury Tales is a great Winter read. 

If you have haters, consider this:  The reason that they are hating on you is your new strengths may be their greatest weakness.  Or, that you are now strong in an area where they were able to control you and your relationship.  Or, unhappiness was the only thing you really had in common in the 1st place.

I worked my ass off to get my Cert.  And it has been a real eye opener on who was happy for me and who just ignored it.  Some people who are 'into exercise' and I thought were my friends treated it like it was a lame status update.

Nicole Scott Smith had toast for breakfast.  posted 4 minutes ago

I may not be perfect.  I may not be the fastest or have the best form, but I am improving every day.  So if you think that I am a lesser athlete or trainer because you are smarter, stronger, leaner, younger or more technically advanced, you are wrong.  My happiest times are spent encouraging others and celebrating their success.  I'm a strong person, but if I carried around all that hate, passive-aggressive bullcrap and judgement, I'd be fucking exhausted.   

I'm also tired of people saying that my friends who enjoy CrossFit are obsessed.  And, that I am.

We are passionate about what we enjoy. Period.  They may be at the Box for 2 hours, and only 30 minutes were spent workout out.  Why didn't they just go home after they were done?  The rest of the time, they were helping and encouraging others.  That's not obsessed.  It's NOT selfish behavior.  That's selfless.   Consider the fact, before you hate on them,  that you may be a little envious that they wake up every morning and have something in their life that they feel that passionate about.  When did you last feel that way about something?  Do they love their families less because they are at the Box more?  No, silly rabbit.  A happy person is a healthy person.  We send people home happy.  Exhausted?  Yes!  But, happy indeed.  I'd rather live with a happy, healthy person.  They are better companions, in my opinion.  But what do I know, right?

If your friend is losing weight, lifting stronger, has a new relationship, a new haircut, hobby or passion and you think the relationship has suffered because they have 'changed', then take a good look at yourself.  If you can't celebrate the success of someone you care about, then look within yourself and ask why.  Just be happy for them.  And, for me.

I'm happy for you.

And, for goodness sakes, be thrilled with your own accomplishments!  Post them, blog about them, tell the world.  You've earned it!  Be solid on how you feel about yourself and where you stand in this world.  And, let the haters figure out why they are so miserable. 

I'm running in my 1st half-marathon next week.  I may have to walk, crawl, cry and stop to pee.  But, I will finish.  Resolution #2......accomplished.

Hate on that.

WODs! WODs! WODs!

We have new whiteboards at the Box!  They record our 1 rep maxes and our times for the Girl WODs and Hero WODs.  They hold our pr's for our runs, rows and other benchmarks.  And, they are really cool looking!  Also, as a coach, they are a valuable tool in regards to accessing our athletes and helping them progress towards awesomeness.  I love the new whiteboards!!!! 

We still need to keep a personal record of all our workouts.  Even more helpful would be to combine that with a record of our current weight and food intake.  And, perhaps a sentence or two of what is happening that day.  All those things combined affect your time, strength and concentration for that day.  For me, these elements help create the WOD's subcategory.  Every WOD I do has one.  Fran is never 'just Fran'.  7x1 back squat day isn't just a strength day.  Not for me, anyways.

Here are some of my WOD subcategories:

The Redemption WOD

The WOD that you needed  to crush.  Because the last 4 or 5 WOD's have sucked.  If you don't do well, you just may cry.  Or, eat a movie theatre sized bag of Twizzlers.  Or both.  You think that something has stolen your CrossFit Mojo.  You question what was once, in your head,  a borderline Jedi ability to CrossFit.   It is the WOD you need to pr. 

The Easy Read

It reads 'easy' on the white board.  3 rounds of anything, low weights with higher reps, 1 minute all out efforts.  General rule of thumb:  If you are reading the WOD and think "Hey!  This won't be so bad.  I'm good at those.  This is MY WOD.  I'm super awesome."  You're wrong.  So very wrong.  And, they never fall on your rest day.  Sorry-I don't know why this seems to be true.  It sucks. 

The Evil One

Your Nemesis.  The one that gives your bowels distress.  The one you read the night before and think about at 2am.  And 2:57am.  And 4:12am.  And then again 24 minutes before your alarm is set to go off.  Now, it has ruined a night of sleep.  This WILL affect your time.   It is trying to sabotage you.  Crafty little f*cker.

The Ricky Bobby WOD

"Here's the deal.   I'm the best there is.  Plain and simple.  I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence. "

You enter the Box and make it so.  Perfect WOD.  Perfect form.  Perfect time.

Shake and bake.

The War Story WOD

People talk about these ones like they were in 'Nam.  The 400m lunge with a 20# vest, the burpee mile, Eva, yesterday......

The list goes on in infamy.

And, they will be back again someday.

Think about that at 2:57am.

The Endurance WOD Grief and Support Group

A Favorite.  At least one hour of loud music, sweat, clanging barbells, grunts and

people muttering to themselves.  But ALWAYS, at least every 3 minutes, someone will yell out something encouraging.  Support?  Yeah, we have that.

The Technical WOD

It doesn't really matter how strong you are or how fast.  A "no rep" is a "no rep."  If your hips don't open at the top.  If it is not locked out overhead.  If the ball doesn't go completely over the line.  If your chest doesn't hit the floor....NO REP!

Like in the Karate Kid, repetition and practice will help you in your WOD.   I always forget that my WOD doesn't have to be my practice time.  I need to learn to do more skill work outside of classtime.  I have to "wax-on/wax-off" before I can "sweep the leg".

and the worst one for me...

Fail WOD

Where the obtainable is JUST out of my reach.  When I don't hit my 1 rep max.  I create my own fail WOD's.  I need to remember that a 1:45 500m row is still a good row for me, even if it isn't a pr.  A 275# deadlift is a good lift for that day, even if it was 20# under my one rep. max.  A scaled WOD with proper intensity is a good WOD.  These are not epic failures.  These days happen.  I need to remember that.  It's only a fail if I quit or call it a fail.  Finish the row, the lift, the double-under attempts.  No more Fail WOD's. 

I wish you a weekend full of Ricky Bobbys!

Just WHAT is offensive?

IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED, DO NOT READ THIS.  THANKS.

Oh, dear.......Oh, my............here it comes.  I just need to know.  WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?!??!??!??!??!?!??!!!  Why are so many people so easily offended? 
Here is the deal.  I frequent a certain website.  It posts daily workouts, links, articles and inspirational photos.  The other day, this photo was posted on the daily entry:

Yowza!  Right?  Now, enlarge this picture.  Go ahead.  This is an amazing shot of someone who treats her body better than most people treat their kids.  Notice her back muscles.  Note that she has great glutes.  Her arms and shoulders are defined.  She has a top notch diet and exercise regimen-obviously.  She has put time and effort into looking like this and it has paid off.  She isn't too skinny.  She has the perfect amount of 'junk in her trunk.'  I'd let my 10 year old daughter see this picture.  I don't let her read my blog, but that is another story....

SOOOOOOOOO, I read the comments posted under the picture.  MOST are complimentary, but one caught my attention.  It read " #26  I'm tired of seeing pictures of vagina on Mainsite."   OK.  So, I decide to post a comment.  It read "Dear #26, I can only speak for myself, but MY vagina is located on the FRONT of my body.  I don't see hers in this picture.  Very inspirational pic of a dedicated athlete!"

It is also noteworthy that someone named Esther posted "Let's see it, Nicole!"  Actually, it's not really that relevant to my story.  It's just nice to be wanted, so Thanks Esther! 

ANYWHO, my comment and 'vagina hater's' comment were deleted.  And I get why.  Filters.  We used the word vagina.  Some people won't be able to access the site at work unless the dreaded V-word is taken off.  I don't look at porn.  Really.  I don't.  But I did Google vagina-that sounds dirty.  The top searches and links are all clinical.  Because vagina is a clinical term.  If I had written who-ha, wee wee, pee pee etc, my comment would still be there.  BUT, we must use filters.  We edit.  We use STUPID terms like who-ha because people get offended WAY to easily.  Oh, and some people surf porn instead of working at their jobs.  Another reason for filters.   But again, that's another story....

I have no problem with 'vagina hater' and his opinion.  We all have opinions.  I just have a problem with the fact that we have become sooooo politically correct, that the word vagina can't be used without  tripping the filter on your computer.  I can think of a BUNCH of insanely offensive terms for vagina!  Actually, some of them are pretty funny.  But the only term I taught my daughter to use is vagina.  I also use words like rectum, arm, femur and elbow.    So there.

What DO you find offensive, Nicole?  Well, very little.  But, it's my blog, so here are my personal top picks:

Racists.

I don't like you.  I think you are foolish and hate having to explain people like you to my child.  I guess I'm racist against racism.  I can live with that.

Douchebags.

Note the duck-face, the excessive highlights and the orange-y fake tan.  They are easy to spot, but in case you were confused, this should help.  Show this picture to your younger cousins, nieces, little sisters or friends who can't distinguish between a well put-together man and a douche.  You're welcome.

                                                                         Liars.

Why?  The truth can be funny, after everyone just calms the fuck down.......



Wilford Brimley.  I just don't trust him.

and finally.....

People who can't laugh at themselves.  You KNOW this sign pissed someone off.   And that's too bad.

Oh, and by the way.  Vagina.  Just because.